Googling By Numbers

I’m sorry, I simply couldn’t resist.

Scanning over today’s top Google searches, I stumbled across number 5, ‘How old is Sophia Loren?’

The poor women. You may say that this could be construed as a compliment… but I’m pretty sure we all know deep down that it isn’t.

Mistress Time has not been kind to the once vivacious Italian temptress and she’s struggling to hide it.

Of course, just for the record, she’s 75. But with all that plastic surgery and God knows what else she’s been shoving in her face no one can tell.

In fact, she’s taken on, what I like to call, that melted look and is beginning to look like Jocelyn Wildenstein.

Don’t believe me? Do a bit of comparing. Both of these women have shiny, stretched, plastic-fantastic skin. The numerous operations have given their eyes a squished, slit-like quality. And their lips don’t even remember the last time they were collagen free.

But why Sophia? Why does she deserve the dishonour of having her age Googled? Probably because she took centre stage at this year’s Golden Globes. But more likely because of the horrific train-wreck that she calls an outfit (and we thought she’d hit fashion rock bottom at the Oscars).

And besides, Sophia is not the only ageing starlet be viciously Googled today. Cher, Meryl Streep, Sigourney Weaver and Helen Mirren all copped the ‘how old is?’ question.

Which brings me to my point, at long last. Isn’t it sad that these otherwise talented and gracefully ageing (although at this point I’m going to have to rule out Cher) women stir up curiosity not about their films but about their age?

Most of them (once again sorry Cher) have fought against a Hollywood obsessed with young female actors and won only then have their achievement belittled by a bunch of people gagging to know how old they are.

Age is a touchy topic for women. At least it was until Wikipedia came along and calculated it for everyone to see.

And why may I ask are there no searches for ‘How old is Leo De Caprio/James Cameron/George Clooney’? They’re all getting on in years but no one seems to be prying into their business.

I don’t think Sophia looks that much worse than Martin Scorsese. Both of them appear age-ambiguous and I’m sure Martin’s had some plastic help too… and yet only Sophia gets the fifth degree.

How rude!