Googling By Numbers

I submit, I submit!

Bitter winter temptress, you have brought me to my knees!

I didn’t want to do it. You out there know I didn’t want to do it. But two days of yawn-inducing search topics on Google Trends have forced me to do the unthinkable: blog about the weather (cue involuntary shudder).

I get it America. You’re like my OCD cousin at family parties, all you want to talk about is the weather.

Move aside Casey Johnson. We don’t care about who gets your 3-year-old daughter!

Move aside Gary Coleman. We don’t care that you almost died and are enraged that producers on your new film didn’t cut out that full frontal shot of your penis.

All we want is the WTSW snow watch… please oh wise meteorologists tell us which school districts are closed.

But seriously. Google Trends has today served a very interesting purpose for me, the humble blogger.

Many bitter old hags out in the media world say that the majority doesn’t care about news anymore. They don’t give a shit about wars and elections. They’d rather read about Artie Lange’s suicide attempt than about the weaking US dollar… I’ve included an article here… prove me wrong public!

But that’s not necessarily always the case.

Google Trends has today proved that there is one thing that can draw our bloodshot eyes away from PerezHilton.com: the weather! (you so did not expect me to say that).

Maybe it’s all the talk about the Apocalypse and 2012 but this latest cold snap has our complete and undivided attention. George Clooney could finally admit that he’s gay and we wouldn’t even notice (come on George, the timing’s perfect).

I’m not kidding. I can’t even get on the WSTW snow watch website… there’s so much traffic, the server’s blocked.

And so the message I have for those dinosaurs in the tabloids? Bite your tongue vicious vultures! We aren’t just a celebrity-obsessed, culturally-void society who can’t find Afghanistan on a map but can name all of the Kardashians in alphabetical order.

We’re also really interested in snow… if it means we don’t have to go to work!!!