Googling By Numbers

Today, I was very tempted to take a swipe at “Apocalypse Man”.

The newest and probably only buffed up super scientist on the History Channel, Apocalypse Man (a.k.a Rudy Reyes) is showing Americans everywhere survival techniques… just in case the Four Horsemen come aknocking, of course.

And call him what you will. But don’t call him unresourceful! Reyes knows how to make fire from steel wool- Macgyver himself couldn’t have done better.

But I digress.

Drawing on every shred of respect I have for the lifestyle choices of others, I resisted the urge to diss this Doomsdaying nutter.

Instead I turned my attention to today’s top Google Trends.

But it was slim pickings.

My Choices? Musing about why people are Googling their independent school districts or adding my two cents to the sad situation regarding Artie Lange and page 6 of the New York Post.

Seriously, Americans everywhere are either so distracted they no longer care about Google (Lord I hope that’s not the case!) or they’re incredibly boring.

Honestly, I’d rather not write a blog about independent school districts… I don’t believe in cruel and unneccessary torture.

And I’d rather not follow the crowd and post something about Artie. It’s simply too sad a situation to abuse for my own selfish blogging interest. He’s deserves to have his privacy respected.

So instead I’m just going to attack Apocalypse Man (I know, I know! I promised. But I was never really one for self control).

And where does Rudy Reyes get off showing people absurd survival techniques?

I understand that watching this man dig his own hut makes for riveting television but somewhere out there a mentally unstable middle-aged fat guy is searching for his shovel, ordering his children to keep watch for raining blood… (by the way excuse all the religious references. I went to way too many Sunday school classes).

You all know my opinion on the apocalypse and the scare mongering History Channel but this is getting ridiculous.

THE WORLD IS NOT COMING TO AN END. And even if it is, knowing how to make a radio out of twigs will not help you.

All these shows do is increase paranoia. Maybe not in you, although you’re probably not 100 per cent or you wouldn’t be reading my blog, but in those who are naturally disposed to hysteria and fanaticism.

And Apocalypse Man doesn’t even care if his steel wool fire will actually works. He’s only doing this show to make some extra cash for God knows whatever his day job is.

But someone will take his word for it and try it out at home. Wait and see. You’ll be hearing about it on the 6 o’clock news.

These days TV is no longer just TV. For some it’s their very own twisted fountain of truth, spouting orders that they can’t help but follow.

So you can only imagine what Apocalypse Man will do for their already crazy end of the world convictions.