Googling By Numbers

Ummmmm???

Who the hell is Punxsutawney Phil and why are we taking weather predictions from an overgrown rat?

There are few times in my life that I am rendered speechless.

But mark my words, today, is one of those times.

I am so confused. Today started as a normal day. Turned on the computer, checked my emails, went to check Google Trends and… SMACK… my jaw drops open so far it hits my desk.

The number 2 spot is held by the question, “did the groundhog see his shadow?”

Ummm. At first I hoped the Googlers of the world were not Googling Groundhog Day the movie because that movie is so annoying, so insufferable that even the ads make me shudder in terror

On closer inspection however, it seems that people are genuinely curious in a groundhog and his shadow.

But wait doubters of the world, hold your scoff! This isn’t any old groundhog. This is Punxsutawney Phil. And he is some sort of wise sage who can predict the end of winter.

Today, Phil came out of hibernation, “saw his shadow” and scampered back into his hidey-hole, which according to only god-knows-who means another 6 weeks of winter.

How? Who knows.

All I know is that this groundhog must talk some serious shit because he took out 8 of today’s top Google Trend spots.

But I can’t get it around my head. You do not understand how wierd this sounds to a non-American such as myself. Why are people taking weather predictions from a groundhog?

Seriously concerned about the sanity of mankind, I Googled Phil and learned that he is, according to his fans, the only legit weather predicting groundhog in America.

All other groundhog weathermen are impostors… there are more???

And each summer Phil is so important he’s fed a special Groundhog Punch, which magically lengthens his life for seven years.

(Although doubters are convinced that today’s Punxsutawney Phil isn’t the original one but has been replaced several times… they said the same thing about Pope Paul II)

Ok, that’s normal…to some people… I guess. Although I still don’t get why anyone hasn’t considered that maybe Phil didn’t see his shadow? Maybe he saw a predator or some annoying human staring at him or the blinding sun and…IT. SCARED. HIM??

But I do get that’s an annual tradition and it’s kinda cute. No one takes Phil and his incredible shadow-driven powers seriously… I hope…although I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

I just have one question. Can Phil predict the stock market too?