Googling By Numbers

There is nothing that gets our tongues wagging like the end of the world.

You’d think fortunate and rather pampered Americans like ourselves wouldn’t want to know when this gravy train called life comes to a stop. But instead we’re utterly enthralled by it.

Don’t believe me? Well shame on you! After 8 throughly riverting blogs, I would hope you’d have realised that I would never steep so low as to tell lies… honestly.

Straight from the horse’s mouth (that being the History Channel), I bring you the ravings of one man, a man called Jim Turner who is convinced he has found Apocalypse Island.

Follow Jim as he sets off to prove that the remote Pacific Ocean island, on which he has wasted 10 good years of his life researching, really is the place where the gods will gather to watch the end of the world…doo, doo, DOO!

Now this might sound familar to anybody who was stupid enough to go and see 2012 at the movies, which sadly includes me.

I don’t want to go into that movie now. But it was bad. So bad I didn’t think I could wait for 2012 and instead considered bringing the end forward and offing myself in the cinema.

But instead of reinforcing just how stupid these doomsday predictions really are, 2012 appears to have rekindled them.

Now I have to be honest, I don’t believe in all that 2012 crap. I mean come on! People have been raving about the end of the world since the beginning of the world. Remember those freaks who locked themselves in an underground bunker in 2000, convinced fire would reign down and smite the evil sinners?

Nut jobs across the world spend hours standing on street corners rabbling about the end being near. Do you believe them? No…Then why in the hell would you believe Jim? (Although at least one person must because he is today’s number 1 Googled topic!)

And even if you do think our number is finally up, why oh why would you want to know the finer details?

I love fish fingers but I don’t want to know what’s in them. It’s the same with life…I can’t see why anyone other than the most miserable, dejected and depressed of those among us would hate life enough to Google it’s end.

But still I say adieu Mr Turner. Good luck on your expedition. Hopefully it will show you just how much better you could have spent that decade of research… actually contributing something meaningful to society perhaps?

And to those who don’t want to know how Apocalypse Island ends look away now….

Jim won’t find any proof that the world is coming to an end… no one ever does.