i had a dream last night that we discovered my grandfather had had a mistress, whom we had no known about. after his death she came to visit us, bringing with her her two young children. she was not much older than me.

we took her in to live in the house with us - a rambling country estate in southeast asia, i think, i don't know where exactly. it was built of stone and wood, and had a rustic, cavernous feel to it.

this woman - this newcomer into our family - was very defensive. she didn't speak english or japanese very well, but i could tell that she was tense about the extent of her welcome in the family, especially in regard to her children. i liked the children - two little girls - very much, and played with them often. their mother would watch us with a sharp eye, while sitting quietly by the side.

she made up for her insecurity - or dealt with the strange family dynamic -by acting as a servant of sorts, cleaning the house and cooking without being asked to. it was all very awkward.

one afternoon i went to take a bath. the bathroom was a beautiful room with cool stone tiles on the floor, stone walls, and a small window. just one big tub in the corner, and it felt like a cave - nice and cool in the hot afternoon. there was no door to the bathroom, really, but i had no shame about taking off my clothes, folding them up by the side, and starting to run the water.

at that point the woman came by, startling me. she had a stack of towels which she wanted to give me. i was standing, naked, by tub, and slightly embarrassed. she had no qualms about coming in and arranging the towels. she said something in a language i didn't understand. i began to be nervous that she was going to stay and scrub my back for me or something, and didn't know how to tell her it was okay, i preferred to be alone.

but at that moment the children ran by, and she went after them.

and i was left with the nice clean towels she'd brought for me.