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February 10, 2003Yuji
he's slender, and dressed fashionably in a subtly embroidered white shirt and lean jeans, a fur-lined leather jacket and black boots, amber sunglasses. his manner is easy-going, his mind-set is tolerant. he is probably my favorite cousin, and anne agrees with me. we meet, the thee of us, in Kichijoji, a hip young neighborhood in western Tokyo which bears a lot of resemblance to my other favorite neighborhood, Shimokitazawa. what do you want to do? he says. i mention that i'm a little hungry. in fact i am starving. anne concurs, so he takes us to a little cafe that serves pan-asian fusion stuff, for very reasonable prices. we sit upstairs at a plain, sunny table and share a variety of dishes. he mentions that he likes to come here, sometimes with his laptop to work, sometimes just to read a book. living spaces are so constrained in the city that the neighborhood becomes your living room. after lunch, he asks again, so, what do you feel like doing? anything, we say. i mention i want to check out video games boutiques. he laughs. you really like video games, don't you? i knew that about you, but you really like them. anne says that she wants yuji to pretend he has a day to himself, by himself. what kinds of things does he like to do? i think we are both curious about young japanese lifestyles. we wander through covered arcades. i am pleased that i get to introduce anne to the multitude of sock choices available in japan. we check out the japanese new releases for games, and various shops around the town. yuji picks up a guide. i tease him - how long have you been living in this neighborhood? and you need a guide? but anne quickly points out he doesn't usually have time to wander around and discover hidden restaurants and specialty shops. although he suggests we have coffee, a snack, and asks if we'd like to have something japanesey - a little taste of the japanese culture. of course we would! we descend to a tasteful basement restaurant fitted with dark wood and flattering lighting. the menu features european-style desserts and snacks with japanese ingredients, like matcha milkshakes, puddings, and chiffon cakes. i order lightly fried bread dusted with kinako and drizzled with honey, served with black sesame seed ice cream. utterly delectable. anne has a kinako milkshake, while yuji goes for the green tea chiffon cake. as we eat, slowly so as to savor the novel blend of flavors, i ask yuji about japan's current situation and what he feels about it. the older generation often criticizes those of yuji's generation for being apathetic. but he's 31, no longer a kid. the kids, in the view of the elders, are much worse - they are maligned as being slackers, parasites, petty criminals - aimless and amoral, interested only in instant gratification. yuji, although he is older than the current evil youth, went through his own phases of rebellion. he wore his hair long, he declared he wanted to be a musician, he failed his college entrance exams, he lived at home and worked part-time and questioned me about drugs. now he is, by his parents' standards, successful: a graduate of a decent university, with a 12-hour-a-day job that requires him to wear a suit. his guitar collects dust. "After the war," he says, sipping his tea, "Japanese focused on building up the economy, but not themselves. They lost track of culture, of goals. Now, the economic success is empty, and we're lost. We have to build a society of individuals." he says he was frustrated by large corporate business structure. he works for his friends, who've founded a start-up. it's a tiny company by japanese standards, merely a dozen or so people, all under forty years old. hence his job is more satisfying than others he's had, although it still deprives him of sleep on a regular basis. i remember visiting him last spring, and spending an evening with him that was interrupted every half an hour by a phone call from work. we have a lot to think about, but the afternoon is still bright and warm. we go to the park.
there are a lot of people out, walking their well-groomed dogs, or holding hands, or letting their children roam free. it's pleasant. i feel as if i am participating in a part of japanese culture, taking a stroll along the lake with my family, along with several hundred other people. we stop by a temple. my cousin is a buddhist - he can read the sutras (in chinese). he instructs us to wash our hands, step up to the front and ring the bell. "because they are asleep," he says with a smile, "and you have to wake them up." anne swings the rope hard to hit the gong, and i press my hands together and bow my head but my mind is empty. i am wondering what i should pray for - but there are people behind me, waiting their turn. a young man and woman - she has her hand on her belly. she smiles. i wonder if she is recently pregnant, or praying to be. we walk up the stairs, out of the park. i said earlier than i wanted to see yuji's apartment. i'm still stuck on the idea of investigating contemporary japanese life for someone like yuji - someone like me. what would life be like if i were a single japanese woman living on my own? what might my circumstances be? what might i do for fun? what would i think about? what would my apartment look like? he lives on the ground floor of a mansion - a concrete collection of studio apartments. it is predictably tiny, with a kitchenette barely able to heat water and make toast. he uses an electric kettle to make tea for us. i put my bag on the floor, anne takes what she calls "the big boss chair" - a rather aggressively ergonomic black executive chair. i am at a loss. it seems somehow prying to sit on his bed, as it is laden with piles of folded clothing. but he indicates it and says, "please, sit down." his book shelf reveals his love for art, his passion for manga, and his business ambitions. all of Ryu Murakami's works, including volumes of Japan Mail Media, and some computer science texts, as well. i flip through Akira, but it looks too hard. and besides, i've seen the movie too many times. i glance to my right, and notice with a shock that through the open sliding door of his closet i can see a row of identical navy blue suits - at least a dozen. one more hangs over his bed. i started writing a novel recently about a young japanese man who lives in a bachelor apartment and keeps a suit over the head of his bed. suddenly i am rather depressed. the reality of yuji's life just hit me with the all the force of an army of navy blue suits. i feel incredibly sleepy - the legacy of jet lag, i guess. i put my head down on a pile of sweaters and scarves. yuji says i can stretch out and take a nap if i want, but i say i am comfortable curled up tight in a little ball. he says okay, go ahead and take a nap. in a very brotherly gesture, he arranges his jacket over me to keep me warm. he and anne talk. i drift away. i wake up with a start half an hour later when i hear the words "kimchee nabe". it sounds like a fantastic idea - suddenly i am starving. "yes, let's go!" i say. we get our coats. yuji takes us then to the third delicious restaurant of the day - a marvelous korean food place on the third floor. the decorations are gorgeous and festive, playing on the colors of green, red, pink, and orange. the pillows are woven silk, and every table has on it a little wooden box inlaid with silkscreened plastic that contains pretty silvery metal spoons and chopsticks. the food is incredibly good, although they don't bring out the mountains of condiments that they do in korean restaurants in South Korea - or even in the States, for that matter. why is it that in Japan you have to ask for kimchee? it seems unkorean, somehow. and yet the food was spectacular, and just the thing for a chilly winter night. i feel a little bad that we have taken up so much of his time - time he probably would otherwise have spent working. he seems tired. he walks us to the train station - even onto the platform, although i assure him i know which train to take. he waves goodbye and smiles as our train pulls away. anne turns to me and puts her hand over her heart. "I really like yuji." i feel the same way. but i wonder about the life he's chosen for himself - or maybe that has chosen him. the next day i write him an email thanking him for spending time with us. i try to put into words how much it meant to me, but i don't know if it translates well. japanese is not, in my view, a particularly warm language. but i write at the very end, in a way that is meant to be flippant but serious - "take care, and remember: work =/= life but i don't even know, myself, how true that is. posted by jane at February 10, 2003 02:03 PM | TrackBackComments
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