The Minority's Report

Bob? Hey, how ya doing. Lily Wong here, of Wong and Associates Industrial Design Consulting Group. I got your vid-message, I wanted to thank you for the tour of the Pre-crime Center yesterday - it was neat-o. Really. Anyway, I think I understand where some of your problems might lie, and I'll just give you some of my thoughts - you know, off the top of my head, some first impressions if you will. We'll be sending you a more formal report later this week, but here's a few things that occured to me.

So let's start with the control center room, you know where you guys get the data streams from the pre-cogs? Now, I'm no computer expert, but your UI seems a little weird. Wouldn't it be easier to not have to gesture so much to retrieve data? Doesn't it, you know, get a little tiring after a while? Here in the office we have a virtual keyboard that works the same way as your system except we trigger it with tiny finger movements and vocal codes. Oh, I know, I guess you guys are all so macho or something, right? [laughter]. Anyway, you might want to look into a more efficient design.

Speaking of efficient, I noticed that you guys are still using disks to transfer files from one user station to another. I mean, it's in the same room, you know? You guys could just get a cheap-o wireless card or something, save you the extra step. Especially since sometimes I guess you guys are really in a time crunch, right? Those disks you guys are using are pretty but they are so outdated.

I also couldn't help reading a couple weeks ago about that incident - the break-in at the Temple? I think this wouldn't have happened if you had a little more security around the most important room in the station. Apparently this guy just walked in through the basement or something, right? Let's seal those doors or something. What? They are sealed? Well then how did he - oh, right, this was former Chief Anderton, he had his eyes to fool the retina scan. That's your other problem. Why didn't you cancel his security access the minute you knew he was wanted for murder? Shoot, that's the first thing they did to me when I got laid off at my old job, and the worst thing I'd done was take someone's yogurt out of the fridge! Right, I know you guys are busy and all, but I think this is kind of important. You could still have him have access to like the cafeteria and stuff, if you want, but maybe not to the control room or the Temple. Just my advice.

Oh, and speaking of the Temple - you know that pool where the pre-cogs hang out? what's up with the human-sized drain? Does it really need to be that big? I can send you some sketches of grids and stuff you can use that will let water through without, you know, flushing the pre-cogs down too.

Well, I think that's it for now, Bob. If you have any questions, please, feel free to contact me, Ok? I'm here to help.

Oh, and Bob - a word about fashion. Those leather jackets the guys on the force wear are so fin de siècle. Let's think about ditching them for those kevlar body suits the other police forces wear. I'll send you some sketches.

mixing, part two, Menlo Park

conversation with cw on listening to the andrew w.k. ("awk") debut album I Get Wet for the first time while driving back from mixing in Menlo Park.

J: But do you know what I mean about their sounding "Swedish"?

CW: I think so - the music is so removed, it's like a detached appreciation for kitsch.

J: Yes, an un-ironic embrace of what they know is kitschy. Maybe because they are so detached.

CW: It's an appreciation for typical 80's signifiers - I mean what makes the 80s "the 80's" to us now. It's Wham, Frankie Goes to Hollywood, Poison, Def Leppard... wait, this song ["I Love NYC"] - that piano part could be that Band-Aid song.

J: ????

CW: [singing] "Feed the world - let them know-"

J + CW: "- it's Christmas after all!"

J: I really think these songs are nihilist. I mean, "party on" is sort of a neo-nihilist ethic. It's like, we know the world is fucked up and we don't fucking care. When punk is nihilist they're angry, they're shouting "Fuck the world!" but these guys are like, "Ahh, forget it."

CW: Hey, this song ["She is Beautiful"] is a little Streets of Fire.

J: Yeah, with Diane Lane.

CW: This song could be one of her street rock chanteuse numbers, you know?

[Long time listening to tracks]

J: I can see why Guy [Higbey, our recording engineer] couldn't get through this album.

CW: It's relentless. [turns up the volume]

["Fun Night"]

J: It's about - not destruction, exactly, but obliteration. Self-obliteration. These lyrics are so simplistic, they're absurdist.

CW: The lyrics are the object.

J: They don't describe an object, they are the object.

CW: Yes, exactly. After a thousand repetitions that's all they can be. "Fun night" released in 1981 might have actually been about a fun night!

J: "We get off, we get off, we get what we want" - there's something so bleakly despairing, almost desperate about that.

CW: I like to imagine they sat down and said, "Hey, do you think we could write an album that's all anthems?" So every song ends up being about a good time.

J: Except the album isn't about that.

CW: No. There's nothing in the album art about having a good time. The cover is of a guy with a bloody nose -

J: There's not a single smile in any picture.

CW: And no big-haired poufy ladies.

J: You'd think ladies would be part of any party.

["I Get Wet"]

CW: It's "The Final Countdown"!

J: I admit I fucking _love_ it!

CW: What's that smell? I think I can smell what The Rock is cookin!!

J: I love these riffs, they're fucking great.

CW: Yeah, fat hooks. A lot of the hook is carried in the bass, in the chord motion. It contains all these references.

J: And the melody is in the same tradition as Weezer. I mean, I don't think they're trying to be like Weezer, but obviously they got the same idea from metal and 80's rock as Weezer did - maybe something we missed.

["Don't Stop Living in the Red" opens with soft keys]

CW: A ballad?

[the rock kicks in]

J: No way. No ballads on this album.

CW: It's all rock, all the time.