rats

i spilled grape jelly on my pajama pants.


poo.

you may already be a winner

i dreamt i had entered a contest in a bookstore which bore a strong resemblance to University Press Books. while i was at the bookstore with a couple of fellow academicians, the bookstore worker said to me, "hey, you won the contest! you're going to get $156,000!"

strangely, i wasn't that excited, because the money didn't seem very real to me. we walked back to our hotel room, my mates and i (i think we were at a conference or something) and one of the girls said, "oh yeah, that check did come for you. don't worry, i put it in your room, in a safe place."

i wasn't worried before but this made me worried. i wondered what she meant by "safe place." then the other girl said, "are you gay?"

"am i?" i said, a bit startled.

"no, no," she laughed, "i said, 'is your hair green?'"

"oh. um, no."

"must be the light," she said. then we reached our hotel. N*Sync was outside, signing autographs for a crowd of young girls. the three of us shook our heads. "couldn't they find another hotel to stay in?" complained one of my friends.

i went upstairs to my room, hoping the check for $156,000 would be there somewhere. but i kind of knew it wouldn't be.

i woke up as i was reaching for the doorknob.

hot photo shoot

i'm a fashion photographer on a shoot. my subject is a rock band, i think... or maybe a hip hop outfit. we're in an enormous warehouse studio, with a huge set that includes a giant wire cage, kind of like the one from Beyond the Thunderdome, although more squared off. the band is dressed in ragged urban-warrior gear and music is playing really loudly. i also have quite a sizeable crew assisting me, including lighting guys, makeup people, and some other techie types who seem very busy, although i have no idea what their purpose is.

the shoot is uninspired; i'm bored by my subject, but trying really hard to stay focused and keep the energy up. then, i have an idea; i climb up to the top of the wire cage and take shots of the band from up there.

it's working, and i'm really happy, but for some reason the cage is swaying back and forth and i'm terrified of falling. my assistant is up on the cage with me, holding my extra film and light meter and stuff. he's a really hot guy. a bit embarrassed, i ask him if he could just drop the other stuff and hold my waist as i lean out over the edge of the cage to get better angle. he agrees, although he gives me a look that seems to suggest he thinks that's just a line.

i lean out and start shooting, stretched out on my stomach and with my upper torso hanging over the edge. my assistant is practically right on top of me. the cage swaying harder and harder. it's quite distracting.

i wake up kinda hot and bothered.

and speaking of Doraemon...

alex sent me the cutest Doraemon postcard! if you would like to send one to a lucky friend of yours, just go to doraemon-land.

thanks, alex! and your haircut suits you. i so desperately need to get mine cut. it's the longest it's been since i was in third grade or something.

skirts for men

the more fashion-forward of my male friends often express envy for girls' ability to wear a singularly simple, stylish item of clothing: the skirt. my friend Won, a very stylish guy, has a plan for when he becomes an old eccentric artist/author/designer: he'll have a whole wardrobe of suits tailored for him, in nice, crisp tropical-weight wool, with a suit jacket top and a long tailored skirt for the bottom. i think that's a capital idea.

for the more macho of you, however, i offer this solution. (via metagrrl.)